Harlan family welcomes daughter born via surrogate

 HARLAN  —  A Harlan family recently brought a new life into the world with help from a lifelong friend.
 Matt and Mary Hoch’s daughter, Ruth, was born October 23, 2022. Ruth’s birth story, however, began over three and a half years ago when the Mary gave birth to her daughter, Hazel.
 Mary had a previously undiagnosed medical condition, which caused Hazel to be born a month premature. During Hazel’s delivery, it was discovered Mary had a bicornuate, or heart-shaped, uterus, which necessitated a hysterectomy immediately after Hazel was born.
 “It was strange. We were celebrating the birth of our first child at the same time we were grieving the fact we would not be able to have any more kids,” Mary said.
 A few days after Hazel was born, Mary and Matt  received a selfless offer from Mary’s childhood friend.
 Elizabeth (Boltinghouse) Buresh, affectionately known as “Buffy”, was Mary’s sister’s best friend while growing up in Harlan.
 “She was like my older sister, too,” Mary said. “She taught me how to braid my hair.”
 Buresh and her husband, Nathan, currently live in Council Bluffs with their four children. She had always considered being a surrogate.
 Mary said, “When Buffy heard our situation she said, ‘I will carry a baby for you guys.’”
 “It was such a relief to know we weren’t going to be a burden and  have to find someone we trusted, because she wanted to do it,” Hoch said.
 “We had been devastated, but she gave us hope we could have another baby. It was the best feeling.”
 About a  year later, the couple had their first appointment at Heartland Center for Reproductive Medicine in Omaha.
 “It was the start of a very long process,” Mary said, which also included navigating legal and insurance issues.
 “Many of the hospitals and doctors we went to had never had this situation before,” Hoch said. “It took awhile to find people to sort it all out.”
 The Hochs chose gestational surrogacy, where an embryo is created using in vitro fertilization and transferred to the surrogate, meaning “Ruth is 100% our biological child,” Mary said.
  The couples had to meet with therapists and have physicals before starting the infertility treatments. “It felt like we had a whole team involved,” Mary said.
 They went through four rounds of IVF and two failed embryo transfers.
 “It was very difficult,” Hoch said. “All the appointments, all the expense, all the hope.
 “I had to do hundreds of shots over the course of it all.” Buffy also had to do injections in preparation for the transfers.
 “Throughout the infertility treatments, when it was taking so long, Buffy was always so encouraging and optimistic and willing to keep trying with us,” Mary said.
 “When she finally got pregnant, it was incredible.”
 Hoch said they were involved with all prenatal appointments, and Buresh provided regular updates as to how she was feeling and daily symptoms.
 “It was sad to know my baby was growing and not be able to feel all the kicks and movements,” Mary said.
 “But with Buffy carrying her, I didn’t have any worries. I had all the trust in the world she was taking care of her and she was in a good place.”
 Finally, at four o’clock one morning, they got the call they had been waiting for —  Buffy was on her way to Mercy Hospital in Council Bluffs. Mary and Matt where both at the hospital to welcome Ruth.
 “It was incredible,” Mary said. “Buffy was a rockstar.”
  Ruth weighed in at 10 pounds, 3 ounces. “We knew she was going to be a big baby from the ultra sound,” Mary said, noting Ruth was not the biggest baby Buffy birthed.
 “She’s good at having big babies,” Mary laughed. “She’s superhuman.”
 Hoch admitted she had concerns about bonding with her new daughter, but said, “Holding her for the first time was such a healing moment. I immediately loved her so much.”
 Mary said their family is adjusting well to their new addition. Mary returned to work at Cornerstone Dental, a family, cosmetic, and implant dental practice she founded in Harlan. Matt is a math teacher and coaches football and track at Tri-Center in Neola.
 “Hazel absolutely adores her little sister and smothers her with hugs and kisses,” Mary said.
 Buffy and her family continue to be a fixture in their lives, and Mary said they visit often.
  “I can use all the words,” Mary said of Buffy, “But nothing could say how selfless and giving she is.”
 “Buffy and Nathan are the most amazing people, and she gave us this amazing baby. We can’t thank them enough for our family.”
  Hoch she would love to have a third child, but said she is waiting to see what the future holds.
 “All babies are miracles,” Mary  said, as she rubbed Ruth’s head.
 “This one just took a little extra.